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Question: Is taking your husband to a womens' dress shop like taking an alcoholic to a pub...?

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Answer #1:

Yes, I believe this is strange and unacceptable behavior, but you are not my husband, and for that reason, I will give my honest, unbiased opinion.
You said that you liked to do these things. You didn't say you needed to do these things. An alcoholic has to have a drink or feels he/she is going to die. I didn't hear you say that in your comments. You are feeling teased by your wife, but I don't think she is meaning anything bad by asking you your opinion. After all, it's very normal for a wife to ask her husband about her clothing. You're just not like most husbands, and she knew that going in. So she is going to have to deal with it. Why are you changing who you are? I understand love and commitment, but a person is who they are made up of and shouldn't have to change to please someone else. You are trying to do that, and you aren't happy.

Answer #2:

Well, that sucks. Really I don't understand what the big deal is. I wouldn't mind if I was with a guy who liked to wear womens' clothes at home. It might actually be kind of hot. Why does she have a problem with it now, has she explained? Maybe you guys need to talk about it more. If you told her about it before the wedding and she said it was okay before, she can't really go back on that now and tell you not to do it. That's not really fair. I guess next time she wants to drag you to the store, just tell her no. If she's not going to let you be yourself, you shouldn't be expected to do that and she should understand why it bothers you.

Answer #3:

To Jono, Salicious Crumb and Just Me.

There actually is a need to crossdress especially for long term crossdressers. (people who have been dressing for some time) It may not be in the same category as an alcoholic addiction but it can still be an addiction in its own right. There is endorphins that are released into the brains of a crossdresser when they dress. This makes them feel good and fulfills a need for pleasure.

No this is not the same kind of addiction that an alcoholic suffers from. But i have both experienced and witnessed the "purge" where a crossdresser will get rid of all clothing and accessories that relate to their dressing only to start the process all over because they have this compulsion to dress again. This is much like the compulsion that an alcoholic has to take a drink again when he is placed in a situation of being near alcohol.

A big difference between alcoholism and crossdressing, is that alcoholism is a destructive addiction. You can hurt people by the drinking. You will not hurt anyone because you decide to wear female clothing (unless you count the battles over that skirt on sale that "you must have" ;-)

Jono, You and your wife need to have some serious discussions with a mediator / counselor. She knows of your desire to crossdress but i wonder if she knows of your need to dress. You are admirable in your efforts to keep the marriage intact and by doing so, forgoing a part of you to do so. Personally i think that your wife is unfair to you to not allow you the opportunity to dress, but as i have mentioned in the past, i can fully understand as it is what my ex-wife did to me. But for her to make you come with and sit in and give advice about feminine fashions while she knows this is something you wish you could openly participate in borders on cruelty and it is not fair to you.

k

Answer #4:

Why do you say that you were honest but she was not. She agreed to be tolerant and try to accept you as you are. her feelings have obviously changed - that is not being dishonest. We have little control over our feelings, so she has not done this deliberately.





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